Living Gluten Free

This post has nothing to do with Celiac Disease; it has to do with the loss of a loved one.

I belong to an Italian Family as some of you may know; now Godmothers are called Aunts and their children well we call them cousins at least in my family. Both my mother and my Godmother were only children and our families were so close that it’s just how we did it

Last Thursday I spent the day in an ICU holding my Godmothers hand (My Aunt Kim); two years ago she was diagnosed with lung cancer. They originally gave her 6 months. You got to know her to know she fought with everything she had for those two years.

Her and my mother have been best friends since the age of 12. They each had a child at 17, and they continued to follow each other with children all but one year and we all are only months apart. She, like my mother didn’t know what the hell they were doing but they did it anyway. My mother is one of her son’s Godmother. My mother has only had two girlfriends in her life (much like me) and my Aunt Kim was one, the other my mother met in her 20’s. They drank and smoked and partied to hard, they were young and very lucky they had great mothers who helped them raise their children while they raised hell. My Aunt Kim’s mother is 95, we all call her grandma. I watched grandma as she sat looking at her daughter die and asking why she couldn’t be taken in her place. I didn’t have an answer for her and nobody ever will. All I could do was comfort her and be there for her.

I realized that time slipped away from all of us, kids came in and out of the ICU all day and I couldn’t even recognize who they were. I said to my cousins it hasn’t helped that we all live on opposite ends of the state but then I also realized  that it was just an excuse that we all used over the years for why we haven’t gotten together. When we were kids my mother and my Aunt Kim made sure we spent nearly every weekend together, Saturday was always hamburger night. We talked all day about the things we did back then, we laughed so hard at one point the ICU nurse came in and asked us to keep it down.. as I glanced over at my aunt you could see a smile on her face, she could hear us.

My mother buried her other friend 3 years ago from colon cancer she was 58, another wonderful person taken too soon. My age hit me more than ever, I’m 50 and now that 17 year difference between myself and my mother didn’t seem so far away. 67 is just too young to be taken. My mother isn’t handling this well; she thought this day would come much later in life. We buried my Aunt on Thursday, one week after her death. I watched my mother look at her friend and cry “It’s just too soon”. Suddenly my mothers face changed and she looked much older than she is.

Life is just to dam short and we take or at least I realize I have taken it for granted that tomorrow will come. Tell the people in your life how much you love and appreciate them. You just might not get another chance. I find comfort in the fact that when I held my aunt’s hand and told her I loved her she squeezed it hard and opened her eyes briefly. I know she knew it was me and I am forever grateful for that moment between us.


Comments on: "Saying goodbye is just so hard." (4)

  1. (((Hugs))) from melinda

    • Thank you, I did not want this to sad. I wanted it to remind all of us to be thankful and appreciate the people in our lives. I know that I am so grateful to all the new friends I have met.

  2. so sorry to read this 😦 thoughts with you

    • Thanks, I just felt the need to remind myself and who ever read it that we need to stay connected and remember to tell the people in our lives that we love them. I am so grateful for all the new people in my life.

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